Monday, April 24, 2017

The 25 Biggest Flops of the '90s

Alright. It's subjective. These aren't necessarily box-office flops per say, but they're are NOT good movies. I wouldn't fall into that nit-pick/criticize-every little flaw kind of movie-goer, but I do know when I've been duped. A lot of these films gladly took my money and my 2 hours, and left me standing there like a kid who's Ice Cream cone just fell-over.

All these films grossed over 20 million bucks at the domestic box-office.

Just Missed List:
Batman Forever
Dick Tracy
Daylight
Freejack

So without further ado let's look at the Top 25 Biggest Flops of the '90s:

25.The Rock(1996)
I know I'm gonna get some criticism for this one, but I really don't care. How this piece of crap is sitting at 7.4 on IMDB is totally beyond me. It's so cliche', so predictable, and so unrealistic it makes my skin crawl. Everything about the premise is totally ridiculous. The last half-hour is about as messy as movies get. Almost nothing works here. Sure, there are some good action sequences, but they're always illogical, pointless, and truly the focus of the film. If you take one second to think about the characters or the plot, your head will explode. I'm not a Michael Bay fan. He knows how to go big, but my brain spills out my ears everytime I go see his movies.  Grossed 134 Million   My Rating 4/10
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vrjo9LbeyTQ

24.Runaway Bride(1999)
Impossibly stupid. This film cashed-in on those hoping for another "Pretty Woman".
Grossed 152 Million My Rating 3.5/10
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tz56LhvDFho

23.Space Jam(1996)
Grossed 90 Million My Rating 3.5/10
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z7ay9YX6KKE

22.Waterworld(1995)
Some of the concepts and cinematography are commendable. That was me saying something nice about Waterworld. Now give me my money back! Grossed 88 Million My Rating 3/10
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fv9_YOL38MM

21.The Color of Night(1994)
If you made it to the twist, you win. I don't how the (*#%  you did it, but you did it. Makes me yearn for Die Hard 6:Dying for it to be Over.  Grossed 21 Million My Rating 3/10
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nh2K7QWuZsI

20.The Distinguished Gentleman(1992)
This was that regrettable period in my life when two Comedy Icons, Eddie Murphy and Robin Williams, were neck and neck making some of the worst movies to come out of Hollywood. Grossed 46 Million My Rating 3/10
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nEdyYP-vERs

19.A Night at the Roxbury(1998)
I'm not sure who greenlighted-this, or who paid to see it at the theater, but both should be shot, or at the very least given shock-treatment. Grossed 30 Million My Rating 3/10
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2tmiSO2x3JY​​​​​​​

18.Bowfinger(1999)
Grossed 66 Million My Rating 3/10 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ZUU563eAaM

17.Sphere(1998)
Take out Casino and Total Recall and Sharon Stone's filmography resembles an over-flowing toilet.
Grossed 37 Million My Rating 3/10
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l6cFM5Ubilw

16.Mobsters(1991)
This gangster film had the balance and intelligence of a 2 yr-old. Christian Slater will make MANY appearances on this list. The shame is that he isn't a bad actor, at all, he just has an affinity for bad films.  Grossed 21 Million My Rating 3/10
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qHDBDTlrp0o

15.Inspector Gadget(1999)
I LOVED the cartoon. It was truly a childhood favorite of mine. Luckily my Mother didn't raise no fool, and I could see from the trailer that this wasn't going to be worth my time or money. Later I succumbed to my go-go-gadget curiousity and learned what I already knew.
Grossed 97 Million My Rating 2.5/10
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iHOE_c8PDWU

14.Broken Arrow(1996)
So bad. Probably deserves a higher rating here. Hard to believe that John Woo could make a film this dull. Grossed 70 Million(really?) My Rating 2.5/10
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gS56O-aHEMs

13.Armageddon(1998)
Here's the film that separates the sane movie-lover from the easily entertained joe schmoe who doesn't see enough movies. This is a terrible movie. Haphazadly thrown together, music-video crap. The "Moon Patrol" hop across a mile-long crevasse makes me wanna drink unicorn frappicinos. Grossed 200 Million My Rating 2.5/10 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PaBapPU7kY4

12.Spawn(1997)
The Toxic Avenger kicks Spawns ass..  one on one and as a movie..   that's not a good thing.
Grossed 55 Million My Rating 2.5/10
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wH7Q2y9iKPU

11.Stop of My Mom Will Shoot((1992)
If you see the words Stallone and Comedy in the same sentence - run for the Hollywood hills.
Grossed 28 Million My Rating 2.5/10
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OJ4qZ2Dco4E

10.Bio-Dome(1986)
Boy the Pauly Shore craze came and went faster than that Unicorn Frappicino, but still didn't leave soon enough. Grossed 26 Million My Rating 2/10
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y8yeEpE3iWI

9.Kuffs(1992)
Christian Slater should have been the one arrested. I watched have the theater clear by the 50 minute-mark.Probably the biggest mass exodus' I've seen along with "Pret-A-Porter" and "Smoke". Going through the motions 101. Grossed 21 Million My Rating 2/10
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YUAA2KidO2w

8.Rocky 5(1990)
Tommy Morrison's lines are more rigid than Old Chief Woodenheads from Creepshow 2. Easily the worst of the Rocky series.  Grossed 41 Million My Rating 2/10
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KAEUeqJRxB8

7.Encino Man(1992)
Obviously, '92 was a banner year for flops. Brendan Fraser has always been over-rated as an actor, and this film is like Bio-Dome and Clan of the Cave Bear had a coma baby. Awful. Grossed 70 Million My Rating 2/10
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h1hEKqZz-OY

6.Blue Chips(1994)
What a mess of a film. From the teeth-grindingly bad lines from the real-life athletes, to the disjointed climax-less storyline, "Blue Chips" is the equivalent of a participation trophy you want to take back.
Grossed 22 Million My Rating 2/10
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KUnaFhIJ17Q

5.The Specialist(1994)
The Director also did Sniper and Anaconda...    should have known.  Obviously, he's a specialist at making terrible films.
Grossed 57 Million My Rating 2/10
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bet1CJ-wTC8

4.Beverly Hills Cop 3(1994)
Grossed 42 Million My Rating 2/10
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZhMpx9aeefY

3.The Avengers(1998)
This film was so bad that director Jeremih Chechik would be relegated to TV work for the rest of his career. Grossed 28 Million My Rating 1.5/10
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VEZD8nDSBzA

2.Waterboy(1998)
There really, truly is NOTHING funny about it. I can find humor in black comedies, stupid comedies, physical comedies, teen comedies, so bad they're good movies, but I cannot find anything funny about this. If you think this IS funny - I don't think we can hang out. Terrible film. Deplorable. Adam Sandler owes me 7 bucks. If you see him, let him know. Grossed 161 Million(you have got to be (*#)($&^ kidding me) My Rating 1.5/10  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Lek2XKyWa4

1.Batman and Robin(1993)
Batman and Robin raised the bar on just how bad an anticipated film could be. The poster-child for miscasting, bad-writing, and lack-luster performances.. The top 5 are neck and neck and really could be in any order.
Grossed 107 Million My Rating 1.5/10
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jj2KcFj1jbE


2 comments:

  1. I was so disappointed with Blue Chips. Penny Hardaway, an NBA star at the time was awful. Then they through in Matt Nover in a main role? Some ex IU player no one had ever heard of? I have zero tolerance for bad acting. Then to make it even more real they threw in Bobby Hurley as the IU point gaurd? If the movie was good that would of been funny but since it stunk it just annoyed me. The story of Pete Bell (Nick Nolte) sliding down the slippery slope of aggressive collegiate recruiting to cheating was a good story, but ended up being a huge let down as a movie.

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