Tuesday, March 14, 2017

Ten Beers for "Women Who Don't Like Beer"

First off, I do know that women-beer-snobs and hop-heads do exist, just not on this planet:) I know they exist in small numbers. I said I could name 10 beers that women who don't like beer might like. I didn't say it was going to be easy to find them. It may be easier to just find a chick who loves to pound Foster's Premium Oil Cans. You don't necessarily have to default to "Blue Moon"(not a bad option) or for goodness sakes "Michelob Ultra"(eeek) if you're trying to turn a non-beer-drinker onto beer. So without further ado here's 10 beers that may change your girls opinion of beer. The idea isn't to give them a beer that doesn't taste-like beer, it's to give them styles and higher qualities of beer that they may have never encountered. You have to remember how many beer-haters think all beer tastes like warm budweiser. Come aboard and think long-term on the benefits of turning your girl into a beer-drinker. "Honey, pick-up some of that Helles beer that YOU like so much and relax when you get home". Huh...   huh...

We'll  go in order 10th best to the best.

10.Velas Helles
Here's a brew that you can only get while you're visiting the Gatlinburg/Pigeon Forge area, but numbers prove that many of us do just that. It won't be the last Helles style lager on the list. Helles lagers usually have a bit more flavor than your usuall adjunct mass-produced swill, and tend to be a little sweeter and fruitier. This is a light offering that pairs well with just about any food you put in front of her face. Price 9.99 six-pack, or a big mug(26oz) at the brewery for 5$.
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9.Terrapin Moo-Hoo Stout
This Terrapin offering is seasonal, but here in North Georgia and Tennessee you can find it laying around almost year-round and it has a good shelf-life at over 6%. The abv is well-hidden too, but its the smooth, velvety chocolate that could be a hit or miss for that beer hater. If this strikes out then you can cancel out any porter or stout for all-time. Also comes white chocolate and machiato spins(even harder to find). Price 8.99-10.99/6
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8.Mothership Wit
New Belgium's "Mothership" witbier is about the most poundable beer on the planet. It's light, even for the style, and has a nice velvet texture to it even though it's lighter bodied and lower on the abv. If she doesn't like this witbier, you're not likely to have too much success with the catagory. Price 7.99/6
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7.Weihenstephaner Original
I mean they've only been brewing since the freaking 9th century. This is an easy drinking beer with a little mineral/fruit taste that could be enough of a curveball for your average beer-hater. Price 10.99/6
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6.Chimay Red
Sure, the bottles will set you back about the same amount of money as that bottle of decent chardonnay, but the payoff could be YUGE. These monks can convert anybody. This stuff has a super-complex flavor of bright citrus and dark-fruit, subtle floral bittering hops, and awesome hard water brings it all together. The higher abv means it could serve a dual purpose. Was that politically incorrect? Price big bottle 10.99-13.99
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5.Stoudt's Gold
Here's one of my favorite beers in the United States, and unfortunately they are having trouble keeping or wanting to keep up with demand. It's a characteristic of good budding breweries, but not one that always agrees with my desires. It's brewed in Pennsylvania, and is easier to find in those parts. Soutdt's Gold is the best summer lawnmowing beer that has ever been brewed. It's the perfect helles. Subtle lemon hint, detecable hops, and a super-clean finish. Price 8.99/6
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4.New Glarus Rasberry Tart
Do you have anyone you know in Wisconsin? If so you need to request their transportation services. New Glarus has two perfect beers for women who don't like beer, but they don't distribute outside of the state of Wisconsin. You could also join a number of beer sites that have "trading communities". 11.99/6 big bottle 12.99
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3.Ayinger Brau Weisse
Here's a Crystal-Weisse that is what you imagined a "champagne of beers" would taste like before Miller butchered the concept. It's sublime. Near-clear, fruity, low-abv, and perfect on a hot summer day. If she doesn't like this she may not like kool-aid. Price 4.99-5.99 for a midsize bottle

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2..Augustiner Brau Lagerbier Hell
First off, if you have access to this, SEND ME SOME! This is the Helles of all traditional Helles lagers. If it doesn't work you'll be out about 5-6 bucks a bottle:(, and you'll know you married a complete moron.
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1.New Glarus Belgian Red
It's the most decorated beer in mid-size brewery history, and taste so unlike beer, that unless you told the person they were drinking beer, they may not even realize it. They pack 2 lbs of cherries into each bottle. Yes, 2 lbs.  The beer is absolutely fantastic, and the dream transition beer for the hater. Price 11.99 for a 6 or 12.99 big bottle
Image result for new glarus belgian red

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